Hot Vomit Pocket

Ok, I'm not gonna front. I like Hot Pockets. They are pretty tasty. They sure do hit the spot when you want a snack but not a meal. Due to the amount of fat & bad stuff, I haven't had one in years, so while I was at the store this weekend, I saw that they now have "Ultra Lean Hot Pockets". Boy o boy was I excited. They only had 3 kinds to choose from. Philly Cheese Steak... Don't think so... Ham & Cheese... Don't dig the swine & Combo Pizza. I bought the combo pizza. Well I had forgotten about it until last night. While I was fishing around in my freezer for ice, I stumbled upon the Combo Pizza Ultra Hot Pocket... Yippie! My first warning should have been the fact that these don't have the hot pocket sleeve. So I place the naked pocket on a paper towel & threw it in my microwave for 2 mins. I waited in anticipation... I heard the bing & waiting 2 mins for it to cool down... I felt like it was x-mas & I was 8 again & for sure was going to get the Barbie Condo with the elevator... I sat down on my couch & got comfy & turned up Judge Judy (I love her because she is such a bitch). I took a bit & a taste moved through my mouth... Cardboard? no.... Moldy towel... Closer... Particle board.... BINGO. I look & see the outside is some wheat concoction. It actually sucked all the moisture out of my mouth! NASTY. The inside was okay, but it was the pocket that taste like ass.... I should have known it was too good to be true....