13....Being a Uber-Bitch & Gummy Bears...

I woke up pissy. The cats were going at it at 5:00 this morning & woke me up. Then I got on the bus & some chick asked me for money & gave me the same sob story she gave me 2 weeks ago. I called her on it, "Didn't you ask me for money two weeks ago for the same reason? And no I am not going to give you any money". I guess I scared her because I sounded like a uber-bitch & she apologized profusely & changed seats. I expect to be asked for money on the streets. That's just how it is and I know it accept it, but when you ask me for money when I am eating in a restaurant or trying to commute to work I will be a super bitch about it. First of all I work damn hard for what I have & I will be damned if I will give even a penny up to someone who doesn't work. Call me a heartless bitch, but it's my money & if I'd rather wipe my ass with a dollar bill than give it to someone who asks me for money, that's my fuckin' prerogative. Seriously, I get asked for money in this city on a daily basis. When I was in New York fuckin' City, I didn't get asked once. Never. Yesterday when I was at work, I was talking to this guy who didn't want to pay his taxes because he is a recovering drug addict and had a note from his psychiatrist. I told him "No". First of all, I am a fuckin' tax collector. I'm evil, the bible says it. Jesus does not love me. Second everyone knows that there are two things certain in life; death & taxes. Third there is nothing I can do. It's the law & you gotta pay up. Fourth, that's one of the lamest excuses I've heard & I hear a lot of them. Fifth, I don't care if you cry or tell me that I am the most horrible person in the world, this is what I am paid to do. I don't give a fuck. I am a heartless bitch when it comes to my job & that is why I am so good at what I do. Anyways, this guy hangs up on me & calls back & gets my co-worker & asks her if "she's the mean lady". That made me laugh. I've made countless people cry. Not just women, but men also. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Great, now I sound like my dad... On a completely different note, I wonder how many gummy bears I would have to eat before my dook looks like fruit cake? Or if I eat them whole, will they come out whole? Maybe a little experiment will make me feel better....