Okay Universe, I've had enough. You can stop now...

I had to put my dog Ruby to sleep today. She was really old and it was the most humane thing to do, but it still hurts. I think because I was the one who ordered the execution not because she was dying, but because she was old, it sucks more than if something was wrong with her, like she got hit by a car (as in what happened to Papi Pequeno) or had painful cancer. I just want to let the universe know that I am over the whole "death" thing & it can stop now. Please, no more death for a while.

Bunny is crying....

These past couple of weeks have been hard. I had to drop my Microbiology class because the instructor was teaching the class at a level that was far more advanced that I was ready for. There is another instructor I will be taking who seems to teach the class a bit simpler. I am less stressed out now, but it irks me to spend that much money & waste a semester. Oh well, it's just that I am so close to entering the program. Blah. Valentines always sucks when you don't have anyone to share it with. Not that I am complaining. I am glad to be out of the relationship I was in, but it would be nice to have someone to spend time with. I also really miss living by myself. There is no way I could afford that now or even in the near future & that sucks. I have also been thinking of my aunt A BUNCH, especially these past couple of days. Yesterday I went to my grandma's house & we were looking through her photo albums & I saw my aunt & I just started to bawl. Even now, I am starting to tear up. I think because I put off mourning until after school was out & then I was mourning the horrible way she died, that now I am mourning her. I miss her so much. It seems weird that she isn't here. Because of our relationship, I lost a mother. She & my uncle helped raise my brother & I when we were young & my parents were acting like douche-bags. I also think that my "Death & Dying" class is affecting me more than I thought it would. This week we were learning about hospice care, plus I just finished Kubler-Ross's "On Death & Dying". I wish I would've read it before she passed so I could've been more help to her psychologically. It's a great class, but it does hit home a bit sometimes. Oh, well, I better quit writing because I am at work & I don't want to start bawling...