Vaginal Humiliation & a New Semester Begins

I started my spring semester last week.  I go two days a week from 5:30 to 10:30 pm.  Needless to say I am still getting used to working all day & then going to school all night.  This semester I am taking Anatomy & Physiology I.  So far so good.  I took my first quiz tonight & I aced it.  It will be a hard semester, but I figured as much so I am not taking any other classes.  We had to dissect a rat on Tuesday.  No one in my group wanted to do the surgery so I did it.  I don't really have a problem with it other than I felt bad for the poor little rat.  I made a death shroud for his head so I didn't have to see his little buck teeth while I disemboweled him.  I did a really good job with the dissection.  I won't go into details because some people might find it a bit icky. I did cringe a couple of times, like when I had to break his little ribs to get into the thoracic cavity.  Well any class where you hear "feel the parietal peritoneum and how slick it is" and you automatically do it, is my cup of tea.  

On to the vaginal humiliation...  When I went to target to stock up on "lady stuff", I saw that Always had new pads.  They were new overnight pads in a purple package.  I also saw that OB has a new "Code Purple" tampon which is its "Most absorbent, ever!".  I purchased both.  I usually have menorrhagia the first couple of days of my menses, so I thought "what the heck"...  Well the captain came into town today so I broke out both code purples.....  First, the new OBs have about the circumference of a roll of quarters.  Then tonight I busted out the new pad & I kid you not, the thing is the length of my arm...  Not my forearm (ante-brachial) but the whole arm.  It has a HUGE mound in the center like there is a druid king buried in there.  I totally feel like my vagina is wearing a muumuu.  I can feel the pad tickling the back of my neck.  The tampon totally reminds me of the "Like a virgin" scene in "Reservoir Dogs"...  Instead of "Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick", it's "'pon, 'pon, 'pon, 'pon, pon".  Until I can get to the store tomorrow, I am making a formal public apology to my vagina for dressing it figuratively in a muumuu (pad) & making it wear a back brace with headgear (the tampon)...  Not even this lovely picture of David Hasselhoff naked with puppies is making me feel better...  Well maybe a little.