FUCK TEXAS & THE END OF OUR ADVENTURE

Kiki & I stayed up all night before we had to catch our flight. We went to The Knitting Factory with the Vatos to see a show. Kiki was a bit tipsy, but I was alright. We took a cab to JFK, which was scary. Our flight was late taking off so when we finally ended up in Atlanta, we missed our connecting flight to Sac. We had to take a flight to Dallas and then to Sac. 4 States in one day sucks. When we get to Dallas, we have to go all over the airport because we are switching from Delta to American. We are tired, hungry & pissed by that time. We go through security to get to our gate when we are randomly chosen to get the full search done. I am about to cry, but the girl was really nice as she was feeling up my boobs & crotch area. "I'm not even supposed to be in Texas" is all I can say. Then my bags get searched by some good ole' boy. He pulls out my steal of the century & says "BINGO... Well Well Well, what do we have here?" By that time, I am not afraid or nervous or anything. I just look at him & say "What? I collect strange things from all the places I visit". Then he says smugly that he has to call the cops. The cops come & check it out & explain to me that it is routine because it is paraphanelia. I told them that I was sorry but I didn't think it was a big deal. I told him that they were more than welcome to test it if they wanted to. He looked at me & took me aside & told me "Next time just package it up real good & mail it home to yourself". Then he packages it back up & gives it to me to get on my way. You should have seen the look on Billy Bob Fuckton's face. Classic. I am NEVER going back to that fucked up state. Assholes.... Oh, Kiki & I were able to have Whitecastle burgers, but from "Krystals" which I guess is the same chain but in the south. Horrible stuff. Tastes just like cafeteria food. Oh, back in New York, I wanted to talk with a cute cop, so I found my chance to ask one where the subway was. Man o Man, this cop was the hottest. He looked like Ad-Rock. He also had a New York accent. Good Times!!!