Oh the Places You'll Poop

Let's see, I've blessed Barneys, Bloomingdales, Elis Island, The Met, Toys R Us in Times Square, & a few other places that I can't remember right now because it is like 6 am here (3 am our time). Yesterday started out lovely. The weather was gorgeous & warm. Kiki & I decided to go to The Statue Of Liberty & Elis Island. When we got to Battery Park to catch a ferry, suprisingly enough the wait wasn't too long. There were tons of people dressed up like Lady Liberty who were, I guess Mimes (?), who looked like the statue & had hats out for money. Kiki & I both agreed it was scary. We had to go through a screening very much alike the check in point in an airport where you have to take off all your jewelry & shoes n stuff. While in line the rather cute homeland security guy started to ask me questions like where I'm from, my name, if I had a husband or boyfriend, how long I'm in town for; I guess the norm for homeland security. Then he said "I think you are soo cute & sexy, can I take you out sometime before you leave?", He really thought my tattoos were hot. So I said sure & I slyly gave him my cell number on some government letterhead... Score one for Gyna Girl! I've been feeling rather butch from all my tattoos because no one here has any. A few guys & I've seen 2 girls here with little tiny ones. I guess instead of being butch, I'm exotic... Well that boosted my self esteem to a 10 that day. When I checked my messages later that day, he had called already. I am playing coy so I am waiting until today to call him back. Maybe I can get my $10 I paid to get to Lady Liberty back in most fun ways at a later date ;) Liberty was neat & Elis Island also proved to be neat. I saw my great grandfathers name on the wall they have there. Kiki wanted to hit some thrift shops so we were off to the east side to check them out. They proved to be disappointing to Kiki. We decided to walk 40 blocks to Bloomingdales & check that out. I had a round in the chamber & was waiting for the right place to drop it, so off we went. Let me first say that Pigeons love to head dive Kiki. Many a time a pigeon will take off & almost attack her head. I told her that I would help her after I had taken a picture & stopped laughing at her if it did ever happen. I was about to get a taste of my own medicine. At some park I saw a squirrel. I squealed & ran over to it to try to take a picture. I did a squeaky noise to get his attention & I guess over hear that means "Hey squirrel, run straight for me at an alarming speed & jump on me & attack me", because that is what he did. I screamed & fumbled for my bag and ran like a mutha fucka. I didn't even look back. Kiki laughed & promised to help me, but only after she had taken a picture of it attacking my head & she stopped laughing... We got to bloomingdales & I blessed it, then we left. We decided to hit a bar & found one right around the corner of the Hostel. We ended up meeting a great couple from Manchester. Spencer & Tim were sooo much fun. We drank with them until poor Spence started to pass out at the bar. Tim & Kiki were talking for days about some wanky brit bands & Spence and I talked about our mutual love for Justin Timberlake. We are going to meet up with the boys in Coney Island today for more hijinks. Kiki & I decided to get something to eat before heading back to the Hostel & had our first taste of New York Pizza. $2 a slice at 1 am rules! Then we headed back & passed out. No vomiting.... Well our adventure will continue today, so I am off to get some rest before heading back out there & representin' the West side, beyatch!