'Tis a sad sight for sober eyes.

Yesterday I met Drummergirl for lunch at a new little Frenchie soup shop, which is tre bon. While we were eating I spot some guy accross the street with a dog & wearing a headband just like Loverboy so I tell Drummergirl, "Hey look. It's Loverboy with a dog". We giggle & continue our lunch. A few minutes later Loverboy & two jacked up looking punk chicks are at the window of Frenchies cafe. I do a double take because Loverboy looks an awful lot like an old friend that I haven't seen in about a year & half, Frodo Burnvictim, but if Frodo was strung out on Heroin or speed & about 10 years older. I whisper to Drummergirl "Hey, is that Frodo Burnvictim?" She looks & says that it looks like him, but it couldn't be because this guy is all jacked up. When I got home I called Kiki & told her about what we saw. She confirmed that it was probably him. How f*ckin' sad. Ugh, it's very weird to be on lunch from our respective government jobs with one of my best friends & see someone from our past soooo jacked up. It's so sad. Anytime I see someone that I knew from my early twenties that I used to see at partys or even who I partied with now & they look just horrible & strung out, it always weirds me out.

Here are some happier tales of Frodo Burnvictim...

How Frodo Burnvictim got his name; The Burnvictims used to be our brother band. If either of our bands got gigs, we would push for the other to be on the bill. Frodo was the bassplayer. When we met him I thought he looked just like Frodo. His hair was just like Frodo's hair. Hence Frodo Burnvictim.

Mockula & Frodo; Mockula like to mess with Frodo because he was young & punk & put up a good tough front. There was an instance where she crawled accross a bar in a sexy manner & was sexy talking Frodo. Frodo was bright red the whole time still trying to keep his punk face on, but it was impossible because Mockula is such a hottie. I found out a couple of months later that on the way home from the bar he had to take a moment & "finish the job" in some bushes.

Frodo, Billie & Cootie; Frodo would be at our (Kiki's & mine) apartment alot because Kiki was dating the guitarist from the Burnvictims. My cat Billie hates everyone but me, but she loved
Frodo. He had a way with cats. He was sooo sweet with them.

Frodo had to stay with Kiki, her boyfriend & I for a little when he passed out on a roof & fell off onto a glass table & broke many things. Yes, he was a dumb punk, but he was really sweet & nice when you got to know him. He was such a little cutie. So sad....

More ink, sibling nicknames & vitamins

Saturday I woke up in a moody stink. I was feeling sorry for myself because of my foot & what not, so I decided to borrow my moms car (since her's is an automatic) & I went to finish one of my tattoos. I now have a full quarter sleeve on my arm. It's gorgeous. It hurt like a beyatch, too. It took over 2 hours. I tried to read my book while it was getting done, but they were listening to Foreigner. I can't just not sing along. I also got to see my old pals, Johnboy & Cynthia who came for a quick visit before they headed off to the titty bar.

My brother & I are 2 years apart & very close. Lately we have been calling each other new nicknames or terms of endearments. Our old standbys are "Joe-sephus" for him (which is a history of the world part 1 reference) & he calls me "All-eth-eia" (which is a mispronunciation of my name that I absolutely despise). Recently we have taken to call each other derogatory, racist & sexist words that would horrify & offend most people. This weekend was our "N" word weekend. After repeatedly referring to each other as the "N" word & making jokes to each other about it, I came up with the best one.... I went to the store & picked up some pita chips that he likes. He thanked me & said that the tomato & pesto flavor was delicious. I told him I am glad because I picked them out for him because the "Menthol" flavored ones were sold out. That beat my earlier diss when he came over & usually Papi Pequeno runs up to him but this time Papi hid from him. My brother inquired if Papi was "Ok" & told him that Papi was indeed okay, just that he doesn't like "N" words.... Quick footnote.... My brother & I are in no way racists. Sorry if I offended anyone but if you don't like it, eat a d*ck. It's funny.

This weekend I bought vitamins to start the new healthy Gynagirl. I came to work this morning & popped one with a cup of coffee. Big mistake. About 10 minutes later I had to run (which is funny because of my foot) to the bathroom to hack. I've now learned that you have to eat something before you take them.

*oh, I forgot. With my foot being gimppy, I have resorted to master my gansta walk. I have the swagger down, but not the arm movements.

Gynagirl, existentialist & poo conisuier…

I like to share my odd thoughts & dreams with Drummergirl on a daily basis. Today, after my rant, she told me to post this to my blog.

I had an epiphany or an enlightenment last night. I realized that enlightenment is an epiphany that you stick with. I get bored sometimes when I try to go to sleep.

The epiphany was about drinking wheatgrass. It would make me healthier. It wouldn’t change my life, but it would because it would be doing something good on a small level. Then I realized that it is the small things that add up. Then I woke up & had a cigarette. This is not an enlightenment, but an epiphany because I don’t like wheatgrass. I’ll never drink it. Tarded, huh?


Then I thought about how clear it was. I mean I was able to understand it on a molecular level. The words that were my thoughts which were a spark of energy that formed into non-existent words that I was able to dissect to the molecular level, but there wasn’t a molecular level because they are just thoughts. But they do exist. Then my head hurt when I thought more about it & I feel asleep. I love to think about quantum physics & philosophy when I try to fall asleep.


The Clap?

Ode to Markie Mark RIP

When I heard you died, I cried & was sad.
I still love you even though I hate your dad.

You know that I didn’t mean it when I would make fun of your prolapsed rectum,
Because in your eyes I saw loves full spectrum.

I remember you staring at me oddly when you caught me giving your daddy head,
& I also remember having so much fun when we would make the bed.

I loved how you would fetch your stick with the feathers.
I love how you would curl up next to me & keep me warm during the cold weather.

Markie Mark, I will miss you soooo much. I love you my little buck-fanged-dork-prince….

It makes Hall & Oats cry... Say it isn't so....

Here is the delicious picture of Hall & Oats. To all you haters out there, YOU SUCK. HALL & OATS RULE!!! Just listen to "Sara Smile" That song is rad. Anyways, last Tuesday I broke my foot. Try to guess how;

A. I was in a Krunk-off & while I was falling into my dolphin dive, my Adidas shoelace came undone & I tripped over it causing me to fall on my foot breaking it.

B. To make a long story short, I saved the baby & didn't spill a drop of beer but I did break my foot...

C. I fell over some construction on my way to my bus. I fell infront of a thousand people going home from work in rush hour traffic in a skirt. At least I know that I made a few peoples day because I know they were on their cell phones to their loved ones & I could hear them say "DUDE, I just saw some chick hella bite it hard."


Guess which one! I did miss out on St. Patty's day. I couldn't find a Lark or Jazzy in time. I do have to say that last Tuesday was my 2nd worse day of my life. I had a hard day a work, I fell broke my foot & then I found out that my ex's cat died. I loved that cat. It wasn't very pretty in the Gynagirl household that night. When I cry, I hyperventalate. Not purdy.

Which would you do?

I had a absolutely delicious picture of Hall & Oats, but for some reason, it won't let me download it here. Stupid blogger. I couldn't pick. I would do them both. I love them equally. I'd say I was done downloading all my favorite music now that Hall & Oats greatest hits are on my NANO, but I have a few more. I can't wait to hear what my Nano will pair them with.

Jakey the love squirrel...

These are the things I literally think about while I am on the phone with someone who is either yelling at me or crying to me… I made a list of the thoughts for today.

-Jake Gyllenhaal doing push ups without his shirt on.
-Do I really need to poo right now?
-Man my armpits are getting furry.
-If I did own a squirrel, would I dress it up?
-Do I really need a new tattoo?
-Should I get the mermaid or squirrel?
-I seriously love Ben Folds Five.
-If I did own a squirrel, what would I name it?
-Misses Beulah Von Fluffer-Bottom…. Yes, that would be the name.
-Eww. Is that a zit in my ear? Ouch.
-Man my nails are looking good.
-Should I wait for Netflix to send me “Jarhead” or should I just go to blockbusters?
-Jake Gyllenhaal chopping wood….

Wacky adventures of Gynagirl at church

A couple of observations before I get to my church adventures.

-I am so lazy that I buy soup in a sippy cup. I can't even be bothered to use a bowl & a fricken spoon.

-I ate a whole bunch of asparagus last night for dinner. I love asparagus. Now I am sweating asparagus pee smell. Note to self; if you are to eat a pound of asparagus, make sure you have the next day off.

Now on to my church adventures. I took Beastos to his second communion. My mom, Beastos & I had to be at church at 9am. We were hosting a coffee & nibbles hour after Lethurgy (mass, but orthodox) in honor of my Papou's (Grandfather) birthday. We set up & went to Lethurgy. Beastos sat for about 5 minutes before he started to get loud & squirmy. I took him to the back room where they have toys n stuff for little kids. There was a Sunday school going on, but for little bitty kids. They let us hang out with them while the sermon was going on. Beastos was having fun plus they gave him cheez-it's which made him very happy & he was running around laughing at everything. While we were back there, I was talking with some of the other parents about Greece & where to go ect. The bible school teacher was this teenage guy. He had to have been 16 or 17. He was a little hottie. Oh so cute. I thought to myself "Man, if I was 5-wait, 10-nope, 13 years younger". Then I realized that in theory, I could be this kids mom.... Now I would've had to have him when I was 13, but it could've happened. I am now a dirty old lady. It took church to show me that. After the sermon was complete, I took Beastos up to get communion. He squirmed & fought the communion. Afterwards, my step-grandmother asked if I saw what had happened after mass. I told her no. She said that someone spilled the wine & that the priest had to lick it up off the floor. I thought she was kidding. Nope, I guess it is extremely sacred. I thought my job was bad, but I guess having to lick spilt wine off the ground is pretty hard core. I got worried & thought it was when Beastos was fighting taking the wine, but my mom said that it was some little girl infront of us. I am SOOO glad it wasn't us. At least now I know to make sure the Beast takes it without spilling it. Now I have to go again next week. At least I get to spend time with my Grandfather, plus I get to learn more about my religion. Ta-ta for now!

You want me to do what? With the olive oil?

The baptism was beautiful & fun. I lost my voice 2 days before so I read the God stuff like Stevie Nicks without the goat sound. I didn’t know who Pontius Pilates was so when I read his name it was like “point-tus pilates (like the exercise)” but in a Stevie Nicks voice. When I was a kid & was forced to go to church, all the masses were in Greek. After a while, my brother & I would skip Sunday school go across the street to the park & play & spend our donation money on snowcones. So Pontius Pilates is new to me. Beastos screamed like a banshee when the priest dunked him several times in the big urn thing. Then I had to recite more God stuff & rub olive oil all over his little nekked body. Man Greeks really do take the whole olive oil thing seriously. Then about 45 minutes later the ceremony was complete. Well almost. They failed to tell me before hand that I have to take Beastos to church for communion for 3 Sundays in a row to seal the deal. Man, I gotta go to Church for the next 3 Sundays. At the reception, my aunt has a chocolate fountain. Kiki made a deal with Zoecifer that if she ate a chocolate covered tomato that she could eat what ever she wanted for the rest of the evening. Zoecifer ate the atrocious concoction & proceeded to have her face covered in chocolate for the rest of the evening. A lovely evening all in all.

Is anyone else disturbed by the commercial where it shows a little crying girl going into her parent’s room because she can’t sleep without her blankie that apparently is lost? The dad takes her to bed & gives her a roll of toilet paper to sleep with. Heh? I know it’s not used or anything, but that’s just gross. “Here honey, cuddle up with some of daddies skid-marked undies”..