"At least I'm not this guy" or "End of year thoughts"

Well for the most part, 2007 sucked big hairy ass. I witnessed my aunt dying a painful death from cancer. I broke up with my douche-bag boyfriend. I am poor. On the bright side (because I always try to look on the bright side of life [whistles]) I was able to help my aunt live out the rest of her days with dignity and not in a home. She was able to pass away in her home. I also was fortunate to spend lots of time with her and she shared her dying experience with me. She also inspired me to go back to school to become a nurse. I got straight A's my first semester back even though she passed half way through the semester. I am poor, but I will be making lots of money as soon as I graduate. I dumped my douche-bag ex that is a good thing anyway I look at it. I also got to share in the wedding of Mr. & Mrs. Drummergirl and had a blast doing all of it even if there were no unicorns. I am also very happy and excited for Mockula and the impending arrival of little Peapod. Life does and is going on. I hope 2008 is a bit more low key and filled with more happy times. No matter how hard this last year was, at least I'm not this guy.... Happy New Years!

Happy & Sad

Well, the holiday's are done with. Thank goodness. X-Mas eve was tough for me. I think my aunts death finally caught up with me. I was sad all day. It's funny; we can barely fit all the family in my grandmas house, because there are like 50 of us, but this year, it seemed like there was more room and not everyone was there. Like we were missing more than one person. I miss her so much. My mom & I went to see her grave yesterday & brought her flowers. It's very surreal to me. I know she's gone, but I just can't believe it. I keep on expecting her to come home from some vacation or something that she's been on for a year now. I am more weepy now than I've been since she died. I think it's because I was so relieved when she went because she was in so much pain and I had school to finish so I put off the grieving. Now it's here full force and it sucks. I start to tear up outta no-where. I miss her so much.

On a brighter note, I got to spend X-Mas with Drummergirl and Mr. Drummergirl which was so much fun. I hadn't had that much fun on X-Mas in a while. I also looked up my grades today & I got straight A's for this semester! I thought I was going to get a B in History, but I aced it! I am S-M-R-T!

Happy Holidays!

First off, yes it is Wham! and no i didn't doctor the pic. It is real and super fresh. Today I am a free woman for 32 days. I took my last final last night! I can't wait to start reading again. I think I am pulling in 2 A's and a B. Not too bad for an old fart like me. I am stoked that I actually did it and with all the bad stuff that has been going on, I stuck with it!

Trying to get back to normal & Mustaches...

Thanks for everyone's condolences. They mean a lot to me. Now I am trying to get back to normal day to day life. It's hard, but so is life... Here is an email that I wrote to drummergirl today. "Last night on the way to school, I was waiting for some guy to ride by on his bicycle before I turned left & when I looked at him, I saw that he was probably in his mid-twenties, a hipster, but with an old fashioned mullet circa 1989 & a thin-ish mustache & I totally thought to myself; “Nice ‘stache, d*uche”.. Those were the exact words that went through my head. I pondered why I would shorten “mustache” in my own head, but then I arrived at school & had to learn about Vietnam…" THE END.

What can I say?

My aunt died last Thursday. I miss her so much already. I am glad she finally let go because she was in so much pain, her bones were disintegrating, there were so many tumors all over her body including her brain so it's been a tough past couple of months. She died at home with my uncle, my cousin and my mom all with her during her final breath. She was like a mom to me. Being with her and helping take of her this last year has helped me realize that I want to be a nurse. The grief comes in waves. The littlest things will set me off sobbing, but I guess that is all pretty normal. I have a great family and we've all been together laughing & crying. She was a great woman. I love you Aunt Chrissy!

The "Google Image" God's have blessed me yet again...

This is what came up when I key worded "Chinese food alter" in Google image. Instead of an alter or even Chinese food on a table or something, I got a topless William Shatner. You know what, the Google Image Gods are right. Which is better; a Chinese food alter or a topless William Shatner? I think Bill is.

Let me back up and explain why I was looking up "Chinese food alter". I email drummergirl when I am at work and I like to use lots of visuals for our email conversations. Got a lot of time on my hands when I am "working". Anyways, I discovered to my horror, that one of our favorite restaurants, Sampan, is gone. They had the best chicken dish which was called "Daisy Chicken". I have never tasted anything so delicious as Daisy Chicken. Well I was online trying to figure out if they moved or why they closed but I didn't find anything. Drummergirl said it was "All souls day" and we should build an alter to them, hence "Chinese food alter". But instead I got a topless William Shatner.

The Bad, Good, Better & Weird

The bad news is that my loving & non-alcoholic “pink bunny” is halfway broke. I noticed on my birthday. How apropos. His ears still work, but his belly of pearls doesn’t. It's a sad time in the Gynagirl house. Sigh…

The good news is that I am so far getting A’s in all my classes.

The even better news is that Carmex now comes in cherry flavor with SPF 15.

The weird news is just that I had a dream about Tom Jones and woke up singing “It’s not unusual”…. Dang, I heart Tom Jones...

That's all for now....

This is the Beast!

This is my nephew, "The Beast". He just turned three & he has autism. I never really got upset over the fact that he has Autism, just shock in the beginning, but he is who he is and I love him just as he is. I babysat him before he had Autism and I watch him all the time now because he lives half his time with my brother and we all live together. I know how to handle his over stimulation and I don't get frustrated when his OCD goes into overdrive and he has to listen to his favorite song which is by "Little John" a million times. He is who he is and I love him more than anything in the world. He's an awesome kid, funny and is very affectionate. He is also adorable. It does suck that he isn't talking yet, but we have our own way of communication. It usually never crosses my mind that he is autistic and any different from any other kid, but last night I had found a tape I made when he was probably around one and we were playing. He was laughing and babbling and starting to talk baby gibberish. It just killed me. This little guy was developing normally and doing all the things that he was supposed to do and that all stopped as soon as he got vaccinated. The days following his vaccination, he was ambluanced to the hospital and was in the hospital for over a week with high fever and an infection the docs couldn't figure out. When he got out, he was never the same. He was diagnosed last November and it has almost been a year. He is getting better due to the fact that my brother and the Beast's mom are so adamant about finding a cure. He is on a very strict diet and is about to start a "treatment" that is brand new and controversial, but we can't give up hope. It makes me sad. I am about to do a paper on it for one of my classes and I know it is going to make me sad and really pissed.

Riding the Tiger

So tired. School started last week & I have been working, at the hospital, at school or studying. Got a free day this weekend to "Ride the Tiger" with Kiki (It just means that we are going out). We went to Old I for my brothers first DJ'ing gig. I got tore up from the floor up. Haven't drank since my 30th b-day... Dating an alcoholic will do that to ya. School is interesting. Can't say I really like it, but I gotta do it & I am in it to win it. There are already people I hate in my classes. There is a gal I will call "Darth Hater" who breathes extremely loud and sounds just like Darth Vader. She is in two of my classes. There is also a gal who has crazy muffin eyes who won't stop talking to me. There is also an annoying "look how smart I am" gal & guy who I just want to punch in the throats. Other than those people, it's fine. Gotta hate to keep the mind juices flowing... I am trying to ease back into the whole school thing since it's been like 10 years since I have been in school. Well, I should be studying, not writing....

This picture has nothing to do with this story...

But it is sure darn funny.... Quick update with my life & why I haven't blogged or seen a lot of you & then I will have a funny story... Since December, I've been taking care of my aunt during the day because she is dying from cancer. (not so funny). We got the news last week that she has a little more than 4 months left to live and she will be bed ridden. To top that off, my uncle (her husband) got fired from his job that he had for 28 years. FMLA can only help you so much, people. I have broken up with my ex (thank gawd). I just started school again. I haven't been in 12 years. I have decided when I grow up that I want to be a nurse (and a fairy princess unicorn) & I should be one in about 3-4 years (with the nurse stuff). Well, enough happy news, here's the story...

A couple of weeks ago, I was driving to Drummergirls birthday dinner at a sushi joint downtown. This joint is a couple of blocks from the damn Music Circus and there was something playing & I drove around for 20 mins trying to find a parking spot to no avail. Being extremely poor, I called G-Boy & told him that I wouldn't be able to make it because I couldn't find parking & didn't want to pay $10 for it. I was turning the corner from F to 15th when I noticed that there were 2 cars parked right in the middle of the street & some major road rage was going down. The belligerent guy in a SUV gets out of his car & is raging against the guy in a Volvo. The Volvo guy is on his phone trying to call the cops & SUV guy reaches in & tries to pull the guy out. V-guy gets out of his car & is trying to get away from SUV-guy while yelling into his phone that he is being assaulted. SUV-guy pushes V-guy and V-guy dashes away around his car to try to get away from SUV-guy. (SUV-guy has blocked V-guy's car with his own so that is why V-guy didn't drive away). SUV-guy throws V-guys flip flop that has fallen off in the running back at V-guy. This is all happening very quickly, mins at most. V-guy has a dog in his car & let me add it's a poodle... Well I think you all know where this is going. SUV-guy yanks the poodle out of V-guys car & tosses the dog into the street. I was horrified (but deep deep down, slightly amused). The dog is fine but yapping at SUV-guy on 15th. Finally SUV-guy gets into his car and speeds off. I pull over & give V-guy my info because I witnessed the whole ordeal, made sure the dog was okay (he was) plus I wanted to help anyway I can because I really felt helpless when it was all going down. I really should keep pepper spray in my car for these occasions. I take this as a sign from God and pay the $ to park & go to Drummergirls dinner. Later that night, around midnight, while I am watching the new David Lynch movie, the cops call to get my statement. All ready weirded out because I am watching David Lynch, I give my statement, but it is all very surreal. Yes I did laugh when I described the poodle incident & I even told the cop, "you don't mess with a mans poodle"... I haven't heard back from the cops or V-guy so hopefully the SUV-guy got picked up for assault and cruelty to animals.

Ode to Bear Grylls

Ode to Bear Grylls

Oh Bear, my TV crush
Oh the mountain man of my Friday dreams.
I have to admit,
The first time I saw you &
You peed on your t-shirt & used it to cool your head,
I was just a touch repulsed,
But oddly turned on because you are so hot.

I made a point to watch you a week later.
You did not disappoint.
You decided to dive into a frozen lake
To show me how to survive.
Then, much to my enjoyment, you showed me how to get warm.
You stripped off your soaking wet clothes and did naked push-ups.
Yes, your lips were blue & you were on the verge of hypothermia,
But damn it, you were still hot.

Before I started watching you,
I am sure that if I were to get lost in the Amazon or even the Sahara,
I would’ve rolled into the fetal position and given up,
But now I am confident that I have the knowledge to survive.
Whether it is how to use my watch and a piece of drift wood as a compass while trapped in a swamp,
Or to catch a snow chicken using only my shoelace and a two sticks,
I now know that I will survive.
With this knowledge and delicious thoughts of you, your cute accent with a touch of a stutter and your naked push-ups, I will survive.

Thank you. Dear God, thank you....

Go ahead....Try me.

I REALLY hate it when I am driving (particularly downtown) and someone decides to jaywalk right in front of my moving car when I have the right away & then have the audacity to give me a dirty look because I am not slowing down. No I am not going to slow down or stop for you. Yes I will hit you. I will just tell the cops that you came outta nowhere & stepped in front of my moving vehicle that had the right of way and I didn't have time to stop. The other drivers around me will back me up because they want to see you dead too.

In a land far far away...

Drummer girl & I were talking about what kind of cartoon characters we would be. Drummer girl would be a cute unicorn who would turn into a battle-corn when angry. I think I would be a cross between a squirrel & a kitten who pooped glitter. I think Kiki would have to be an anime character who slobbers when she gets nervous.

Temper Temper, miss Gynagirl...

I know I've said it before, but I am a total freak magnet. "These are the people in my neighborhood" or people I've seen or dealt with today all before 1pm in order....

*I walk into a bathroom at a state building that we go to for my job & there is a lady picking at her zits. I know that a majority of us do this, myself included sometimes, but please people, this is a private "activity" that shouldn't be shared with anyone. Does she stop, no. She keeps on picking.

*On my way out of the restroom, a lady walks in who is wearing flip flops. Not a big deal until I notice an annoying sound... Her dragging her feet instead of walking like a normal person. How anyone can think that walking in such a way as to not lift their feet up as they take a step is beyond me. The thing is that she wasn't even an old lady or anything. I wanted to take her flip flops off & slap her in the face with them.

*At my job, we have to go to the state to copy files. This takes hours at the copy machine, but when people come in, I step aside & let them use it. I wear my ipod so I don't have to interact with people, yet people still like to talk to me. There was a lady who liked to come in & get in my personal space & touch me until she had me backed against the machine, but today I got to meet a real gem of a lady. She comes in with a paper she needed to copy. I told her that I would be done in one second & she could step in & use it. I had just loaded the copier with paper & it was in the middle of it's cycle so I couldn't stop it. She says that she will use the other machine & I tell her that someone else is using that machine & she freaks out. "Do you work here?" "no" I tell her & she tells me that we can't keep both machines occupied at the same time. I calmly tell her that my copies will be done in literally 20 seconds & that she can use it. snatch. I wanted to punch her in the face & then copy it.

*Last but not least, on our way back to our office, I saw a man wearing sunglasses riding a unicycle while talking on a cell phone.... I tried to get a picture with my phone, but I missed him by a second & I ended up taking a picture of a pole.

Drummer girl told me "Nice!! Today on K street in front of my building there was a stanky homeless guy ranting about Abe Lincoln's assassination." I think her's wins... But it is a close one.

WWJR? (What would Jesus Ride?)

He would totally ride a Unicorn! At least that is what I think...

I'm back!

So much has happened since my little adventure. Lots of bad stuff, but I will not go into detail, instead, I will share my delicious finds that I torture drummer girl with on a weekly basis...

This is a total gem. I don't think anything I can say will do it justice....