Big kid update
3 years ago
Friday, April 01, 2005
Early Life Crisis or realization?
I was thinking last night. Thinking long & hard about myself. I don't know why, maybe the movie, maybe because my grandfather is in the hospital, maybe because my dad is planning to move away, maybe because I am going to be 30 & I am not even seeing anyone let alone close to getting married & having babies. I asked my self what I really want in life. I guess it's to be loved & to love. I know I have great friends & a great family, but that isn't the love I've been seeking. Why is it so hard for me to find something that most people have found? I guess that is the way life is. So, I have to ask myself what else makes me happy? I know that seeing different parts of the world would be awesome. Maybe they know something I don't . I am a single gal with no children to tie me down. Just rent to pay & some minimal bills. I can cut down my overhead & work all the OT I can to build up hours & pay & go travel a couple of times a year. I want to go to France, Italy, England, Spain, Portugal, Japan..... So many places that I've never seen. I am never going to go back to school. I can't see that far into the future. I've been so stale & waiting for something that'll never happen. Plan B. Get away from it all.
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3 comments:
Well, on school, you are obviously a very intelligent person. I have no doubts that you would do well if you did choose to return to school. And just money-wise, you could probably make more money if you finished a degree. However, just because I'm an educator doesn't mean that I believe school is for everybody, and you know best on this one.
As for travelling, hell yes you should travel if you have the time and means. That will improve your life in ways you can't even foresee (maybe even in meeting a Paolo or a Giovanni or an Aidan).
On relationships, well, I already know anything I say is futile, because 2 years ago, I wasn't listening to a damned word my coupled friends were saying. They didn't understand, period. Nevertheless, I'd be remiss if I didn't try -- you are an amazing person, and you WILL find love. It will happen. You are just too beautiful, funny and talented for people not to get it sooner or later. It's just that "later" sucks. I would put money on "sooner," though.
Thanks Sweetie! I didn't mean it to sound as black as it came out. In a weird way, I am suddenly at peace with myself more than I've ever been.
well gynagirl, from one single gal to another...let me say this. most other people HAVE NOT found love, it just seems that way. And isn't it better to wait for something who is worthwhile and deserving of your love then to just find someone so that you can avoid being alone? Anyways you are beautiful, and amazing and creative, and it takes a while to find someone who will compliment all of those things.
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