Thursday, October 20, 2005

Hey, it's Corky Kitty!


I have accepted the fact that I am a freak/retard magnet, but sometimes I just want to read my book or just not be bothered so I get pissy. Case in point, yesterday while I was waiting freak/retard central ie: my bus stop, this retarded girl comes up and asks me if the 45b has come by. I told her nicely that I wasn't sure. She leaves & comes back a minute later & asks the same question so I just ignore her. While this is going on, I am on my cell phone checking my messages & TMing the guy I blogged about on Monday. She tells me I have a nice phone & I thank her then she asks if she can use it... "No." I tell her. "Why?" she asks. I explain that I am in the middle of using it. She then asks if she can use it after I am done & I tell her "No", but by now I am pissy & abrupt. Then I just walk away from her. About 2 minutes go by & she comes up & asks if the 45b has come by. There is about 10 people at this stop waiting for various buses so I can't understand why she keeps bothering me, so I just walk away from her again & then my bus FINALLY gets there. When I get on the bus, there is a HUGE lady singing "After Midnight" really loud like she is crazy or really drunk. I find a seat far away from her & sit. I see a lady that I usually talk to & start speaking to her about her day when some little girl sitting in front of me stands on the chair, faces me & starts say "Hey..Hey...Hey..." at me as I am trying to have a conversation. I try to ignore her hoping the kids mother will make her shut the hell up & sit down correctly but her mom's a retard. I actually think she is literally a mentally handicapped person. The kid won't shut the hell up & tell her "Hey, I am talking here. It's rude to interrupt people while they are talking". Finally the tard mom yells at her & spanks her. So now there is a crazy drunk woman singing as loud as she can & a brat screaming. God I love public transportation. On a funny note, the tardmom started to stuff her kids into a stroller before we got to her stop & the bus driver kept on telling her that she can't put them in until she is off the bus but she just told him to mind his own business & not tell her what to do with her kids. He lets her off the bus & as she is try to get off the bus with a fully loaded stroller full of her tard offspring, it falls over face first & now her offspring is crying. The bus pulls away & the bus driver & I are laughing our asses off.

FYI, while I have no problem making fun of retarded people who annoy me, I do feel slightly guilty about making fun of a retard animals, unless it is a monkey because I fucking hate monkeys. I'd probably adopt the above retarded cat if I saw it out of pity. Hey, I adopted a cat with one eye because I felt bad for him. I love my little one eyed Gary....

8 comments:

monkeygirl said...

I can't believe you said you hate monkeys.

gynagirl said...

I hate monkeys, but I LOVE & Adore MonkeyGirl... Monkeys seriously scare me. They freak me out.

Anonymous said...

Agh, this reminded me that I was going to make you a monkey-themed mixtape for your b-day. Selections would include:
"Monkey Man," the Specials
"Monkey Busniess," Skid Row's
"Mickey's Monkey," Smokey Robinson "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey," the Beatles
"Monkey's Gone to Heaven," The Pixies
"Monkey Man," Rolling Stones

Count Mockula said...

"Brass Monkey" -- Beastie Boys
"Space Monkey" -- Patti Smith
"Monos - Monkeys" -- Yma Sumac
"Monkey's Paw" -- Laurie Anderson

Hee hee.

Anonymous said...

Uhhh, What????

Wait..no..ummm...I can tie my shoes!

Love Corky

Unknown said...

Headphones are great on public transportation - rock out to some MP3s and everything seems like a music video. And don't just go for the earbuds, go for bigger headphones like the dudes in the Navy who hunt submarines.

I don't like to talk to people in public in general, and it is an easy way to ignore them. I point to my ears, which are covered by the headphones, and then look away. They will eventually leave me alone. It may be rude but it is sort of a pre-emptive rudeness to keep me from thinking of how stupid and rude normal people can be.

Rex Venom said...

Bad Kitty!
Bad!
Rock on!

Murph said...

That fucking cat is haunting my dreams.