Last night I watched the 3rd installment of Star wars. I saw it in the theater when it first came out, but re-watched it out of boredom last night. It made me think of a few things...
1. Why were 95% of the Jedi's pussys? You'd think they would know if someone was thinking about killing them before it happens because of the Force. The only one that seems to know what the hell is going on is Yoda (who, when I was small, scared the hell out of me. I actually remember covering my eyes when I was a kid watching "Empire Strikes Back" in the theater with my aunt & uncle).
2. Why did Padame have to go through natural childbirth? Don't they have epidurals in space?
3. Why did Padame die? I think they want us to believe that she died of a broken heart, but once again, don't they have life support in space?
4. If Darth Vader/Anikin Skywalker is so full of the force, shouldn't he be able to feel his children being born? He should get something, right?
5. How did a little whinny white kid (who, I will say, does look hot when he goes over to the dark side) get James Earl Jones's voice when the helmet goes on? If they don't have life support or epidurals, I'm thinking voice changers aren't in space either....
6. Does anyone else laugh every time someone says "Younglings"?
7. Does anyone else hear the Darth Vader theme music when they know they are in trouble or something bad is going to happen? I hear it all the time.
I am sure I have more questions about the installment, but over all I was surprised that I liked it so much. After the first two gay ass Disney Jar Jar Binks installments, I was pleasantly surprised that there was maiming & killing. The way it should be. Did anyone else think that young Anikin Skywalker looked like a young John Denver?
I was also reminded of my mother. She is absolutely in love with Darth Vader. The love goes back to the first Star Wars. I think if she were able to sleep with anyone in the world, it would be first Darth Vader & then second Adam Ant (circa 1982). She actually dragged my brother & I to a county fair to take pictures with Darth Vader when I was like 6. She said it was for us, but even then we knew it was all her. She has Darth Vader stuff all over her room. We give her stuff like moving talking banks (that are actually pretty cool), bubble bath bottles, figurines & anything else we can find. I think in a galaxy far far away, Darth Vader would be my daddy....
3 comments:
This adds a whole new dimension to my love of your mother. And I don't mean that in a dirty way.
I heart my crazy mommy too! She rules! I just want to say that the picture of the guy in the Darth Vader mask no way represents me if I was Darth Gyna. I would at least cover my nipples ;)
i didn't laugh at younglings, but i did laugh when padme died. it was a dramatic moment, opening week at the theater, and the line was "there's nothing physically wrong with her, her body is just giving up." i lost it right there, just started laughing. i even made murph laugh too. we where the only ones in the theater though. after the movie, a very offended relentlis gibbering bastard asked us how we could be so insensitive. i was just like, that is such a stupid way to kill a main character. i'm sure planning went something like this:
[Producers] hey george, you know padme has to die after giving birth to luke and leia, so how's it gonna happen.
[george] i'm not sure yet, but i'll think of something clever.
[later]
[Producers] hey george, the guys and i were thinking that having her die without giving a reason is kind of weak.
[george] hey, i'm the great george lucas and i have full control, so i can do whatever i want. maybe i'll even introduce chewbacca! huh, would you like that, then chewbacca would have known yoda for some reason.
[Producers] okay....but what about the fact that there is only going to be about 17 years lapse between episode 3 and episode 4, not the 30 to 50 that would be needed to make sense.
[george] hey, if you don't stop questioning me, i'm gonna make howard the duck the one who kills mace windu.
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