Tuesday, November 01, 2005

R.I.P. NARDS

Nards, you were a special mouse & I think because I found you dead in your wheel at the ripe old mouse age of two & a half, I know you died a happy, crusty old mouse. You were meant to be a meal for Murray the snake, but for some reason, Murray didn't want to eat you. After a couple of days I felt bad for you living in constant fear & started to sneak food to you in the snake cage. I made PBD sneak you food also when I couldn't. We named you "Nards" because of your, well, huge mousy nards. After about 2 weeks, you got too big for Murray to eat so Inca was going to trade you in for a smaller mouse, but I knew that you cheated death & deserved to live a fat mousy life. I went to the pet store & bought you a deluxe mouse cage with a psychedelic water mushroom & a silent wheel. We had the bright idea to buy only female feeder mice for Murray so you could have a romantic evening with them before they were sacrificed. We thought with your huge nards, it was uncomfortable to not have periodic releases. The first mice ladies were "Paris" & "Nicky". Nicky turned out to be a boy, but that didn't stop you from going from the gold. You were crazy for Paris & I think I saw a tear in your little mouse eye when we feed her to Murray. The day I bought you a mouse ball so you could roll around was great! Good times, Nards. You cheated death many times, not just with Murray the snake. You were a morsel to Billie the cat who would stalk you when you were rolling around in your mouse ball. You have been dropped a few times. Gary the cat has almost eaten you. The final few months of your life I knew that the time was almost upon us. You were going to the big wheel in the sky soon. You lost weight. Your eyes were getting fogged. Your once magnificent nards, were shriveling up like raisins. You started to go bald. But deep down inside I knew you were happy. Every time I heard your little wheel going & going & going. This morning when I went to say good morning, I didn't hear your little wheel. I knew something was up. I found your little old body in your wheel. Just the way you probably wanted to go. I'll miss you...

5 comments:

Count Mockula said...

That was so sad. Poor Nards.

Anonymous said...

Why! Oh why Lord!

Anonymous said...

And Man Ass is up!

President Preston said...

:( I'll miss him...Nards was like the son I never had...poor little guy...I know it seems sarcastic, but I honestly do feel bad.

President Preston said...

:( I'll miss him...Nards was like the son I never had...poor little guy...I know it seems sarcastic, but I honestly do feel bad.