Happy Thanksgiving
5 years ago
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Zombies, Bitch Tits, Dead Pigeons & Freak Babies....
Yesterday I was walking to my bus stop after work & saw either a woman with mutton chops or a man with the biggest bitch tits I have ever seen. I wish I had a camera phone. As a added plus, they were squeezed into a lark puttin around with a bottle of something in a paper bag. Then when I got to my bus stop, I saw a pigeon get hit by a car & it made the most gnarly "POP!". I have never heard a pop like that. It haunts me now. Plus the dead pigeons little pigeon pal was hanging around for it. Poor little guys... Then a man was walking towards me, but he walked like a zombie, so of course the first thought I have is kill the head & the body will die. Then he comes up to me to tell me "you are so purdy. Are you dating anyone?" instead of trying to eat my head. I was relieved & answered appropriately. Hey, he may walk like a zombie, but it takes guts to talk to someone, so instead of chopping his head off I was nice. When I was on the bus, there was a woman with a baby on her lap. The baby was probably like 8 months, but it was tiny. It was itty bitty freakishly little. That got me thinking... I wonder what dwarf or midget babies look like....
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6 comments:
OMG I wish you would have a camera phone, cuz that would have been one funny pic! Dont those people just make you wanna point at them and laugh? Ok, that's mean, but I'm not the only one am I? Am I?!
P.S. midgit babies have giant heads....
God Damn, I gotta party with you!
Okay, I am posting this here so that my uber-sensitive husband doesn't have to read it. I had the most SHIT-FILLED dream last night. Not my own shit, either. We were in a house that had these porta-potties, like, small ones in plastic boxes that were just attached to the bedframes. You just sat in the bedroom and did your business on this Tupperware thing. But somehow my ass created a vaccuum on this 3/4 full box, so when I sat up it exploded and I got other people's feces all over my ass and legs, and I was running around trying to fix the problem with paper towels before I was discovered.
Is that disgusting or what? Sorry to put it on your blog instead of mine, but I suspected you wouldn't mind.
OHMIGOD CM....what the hell kind of a dream is that? EEEWWW! Is all I can think in response, and how terrible if that really happened.
D.T.- I love to watch & make comments on people. I also laugh at people, so you are not the only one. I too want a camera phone, but I know that I would eventually get my ass kicked...
Will- You supply the Pabst & I'll be there!
CM- Thank you for sharing your exploding poop dream. It ruled. I am glad you feel like you can post a dream like that here. I wish everyone with poop stories & dreams would post here. Like a haven for embarassing dook stories or rad dookie dreams...
Puzzy- There is weirdness all around you, you just have to look closely. Here is some homework if you want; at least once a day, take any situation you find yourself in or witness & make it funny. A dog pooping on a lawn is hilarious with the right description. After a couple of days of this, humor will be all around you, on the down side, you may find yourself becoming a freak magnet...
There you go! A bum dragging his ass is funny. It's funny because he probably has anal/intestinal parasites...worms... HAHAHA!
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