We Aren't the Nut, We're the Shell....

Man, I watched I heart Huckabees last night & now my head hurts. I've contemplated my existence & came up with this.... We are here to propagate the species. The meaning of Life is actually Life!!! Our DNA & Genes are the core or nut of our shell. We are just a carrier & the by product of the genes. I am the shell. My DNA is the nut, the important part that needs to grow stronger & live on even after I die. When my body is dead & used up, my energy & legacy will live on in my children & their children & so on. So we never really die, just change form. Almost like reincarnation but on a scientific level. I am myself plus all my ancestors. My child or children will be even more perfect than I am (I don't mean that in a ego way, just that I have all my limbs & not retarded), as long as my egg is fertilized by a strong male. Look all around us. We are constantly bombarded with images that are supposed to attract us. All about propagation. We are the dominate species because of our brain. Some where along the line our brains started to get bigger so we thought more which made us live longer, make more babies & live healthier. The human species is living much longer as it goes from generation to generation. Why? Technology. Technology created & thought up from Man. In order to insure that our offspring live longer & healthier & make more offspring. We are nothing but the shell, man....

Dookie, Kaboom & QOTSA

Gotta say that I am lovin the Kaboom bathroom cleaner. I am a sucker for infomercial & saw one for Kaboom. It works really well in the shower. The soap scum was so easy to wipe off after a couple of minutes of soaking. Much easier to clean with this stuff than Ajax, I gotta tell ya...

I bought the new Queens of the Stone Age last week & at first I was disappointed because Dave Grohl wasn't playing drums on it, but it has totally grown on me. I absolutely love it! It has some really funky songs on it. I would highly recommend it to anyone who loves QOTSA.

I cleaned with Kaboom as I listened to the new CD at the same time to double the pleasure!

Does anyone else have a problem squeezing a loaf in a public restroom? I know that everyone poops, but why if there are multiple empty stalls must the other person pick the one right next to me? No matter how hard I try, I can't lay a stinkin lincoln if someone is right next to me.... Nerves or something. It takes forever for the other person to flush & give you the door to finish your bidness....

You want an apple pie?

My dad told me this weekend that he & the stepmom are planning to retire soon & they are going to get rid of everything, buy a motor home & travel the country looking for land to buy & build on. WHAT?!?!?! I do like the fact that I might be able to score the 4 poster bed & Leather Sectional, but at what cost? I don't want them to move to another state. Inca's parents are planning the same thing. What is with the baby boomers? They can't move away, that's against the rules....

Had quite the eventful weekend. Can't wait to go home tonight & clean my apartment & play with the Gar Bear. Didn't seem like I did much, but I wasn't home at all. I just want to chill.

Went to the ghetto mart yesterday for a beverage & smokes & there was a "special" person who kept asking me if I wanted an apple pie. I really didn't want his apple pie.

Had fun with MM & her family on Saturday. The kids are getting so big!

Easter was fun but cut short because the little butt boy was cutting his first tooth so Sis in law & I had to get home. He is getting so big!

One 41 yr old guy emailed me on the personal. I feel bad, but I specifically said age 27-35. I am going to be nice, but I feel bad because he wrote me this big ole long email about himself & his 14 yr old daughter....

Well, I have a ton of work to do today.....

Not Down With the MC Hammer Glasses...

I gotta say that the Brothas love the Thea. I've gotten about 5 guys inquiring about me & they all are Black. I am not adverse to dating someone from another race, I really don't care about that, but they have to have something in common with me, so I am answering all the inquiries. Their profiles seem to point in the direction that they are really not my type. Kinda player-ish. One actually has that you "Have to have a big butt", so I am going to have to break the news that I, in fact, do not possess the attributes that he seeks. I am very non-bootylicious. But hey, you never know. I am going to answer them all truthfully & you may never know.... Oh, one wears MC Hammer glasses. I am trying nicely to shake him off, but it's not working.... 2 out of the 5 guys I emailed have answered me. One left last night for Costa Rica. I told him to be careful & not catch malaria. We'll see if he thinks my dorkiness is endearing or not. Another one answered me back & he's 6 ft 5 in. Nice... He seems nice, a bit poetic so we'll see. I hate trying to break the ice by not giving too much of myself up & scaring them off. Oh well, gotta a show tonight & we're the only band there so we are going to rock their socks off! At least we don't have to share the door....

The Ex Factor

Had a dream about one of my ex's that I haven't thought about in a while. He really broke my heart years ago. It was a nice dream. Smart but asshole (SBA). Woke up not feeling all sad, but happy. Even though things between us ended badly, we did have some really good times. Now I know that I'll eventually feel the same way about PBD as I do SBA. That makes me feel much better. Had one guy email me. Emailed him back. Not really interested because it looks like we don't have a whole lot in common, but I emailed him back anyways. It takes guts & I don't want to be bitchy about it. I scrolled through a bunch of profiles & shot out about 5 "hello"'s because my horoscope told me to be more outgoing & that it'll pay off, so I did. Kinda scary, but fun anyways.

Watch Out! It's Darth Vader!!!

All day yesterday I could hear the Emperor's March (Darth Vaders Song) running through my head. Do you ever have one of those days where you think you are going to die? You just feel it? Yesterday was that day for me. I don't know if it is the weather or the fact that I think I ovulated yesterday, but I thought for sure I was going to croak. I am doing much better today. Only I did get my first rejection from my online personal. Oh well, it hurt for like a second, but now it's gone. I really need to get a thicker skin when it comes to rejection. I think this will really help me out with that. I am excited about finally playing a show this weekend & possibly trying something new with the gals with an art show playing. It's nice to get out on the weekends. School nights I can't play, but I at least need to go out once a week. That is my new resolution. "ALTHEA.....I AM YOUR KITTY..."

Dear God, I'm a statistic!!!

Okay, no need to hide it, but I posted a personal online last night. The way I see it is that I need to go out with guys, period. Everyone knows I am not the bar pick up kinda gal. I like that I can chat with someone before I take the step to meet them. I don't think anything will come out of it, but at least I can start dating & getting my self esteem up. I am hoping that I can meet someone like myself who is a bit shy, but not too crazy, who just has trouble meeting new people. Everyone knows this town is too small. I am actually looking forward to meeting & dating new guys. I hope I have dates every week! Am I really this pathetic? Well, I started talking to some guy already last night. At least it gets my mind of PBD. I am actually happy I took this step!

His Favorite Restaurant is Olive Garden

So why did I see the bastard at Kamon on Friday night? Ugh, I was really looking forward to Sushi, too. As soon as I walked in I saw him and I got dizzy, my stomach turned over & my heart cracked again. God I can't wait until I feel nothing when I see him. I really wanted Sushi. Why the f*ck can't he leave my places alone? That is the restaurant where we first met. Is nothing sacred for him? No, I think he's just stupid. Why can't he take his new girl to Red Lobster or something? And speaking of, Mr. "I want to be alone for a while" I guess he found someone else to pay for his ass everywhere. What a piece of shit. God I can't wait to feel nothing for the stupid asshole. I just want him to hurt as much as I did & still do. Even better, I don't want to give a shit about him anymore. Does it stop hurting so much?

Now I know I am ready to meet someone else. I really am. Is it so bad to just want someone to like seeing you, want to spend time with you, want to snuggle on a rainy Sunday? What I miss is the sex during a thunder storm. Ho Hum. Poor me ;) I guess as long as I have my cats I'll really never be alone... sniff sniff... I'm pathetic. OH GOD!!! I am getting to the point that if I don't find someone this year, I'm going online.... Jesus.....

Top O the morning to ye

Had mad mad fun yesterday on our tour of the pubs. Drank from 10am-7pm when I found myself face down on my carpet. No vomiting! We were the first people in the Fox & Goose to ever have shots because they just got their hard liquor license that day. I wish we would've walked more. I think I would have lasted longer. We hit 6 bars. Opps. Got lots of work today to do... Blogged out....

I Will Not Eat Cat Food When I Am Old!

I am nervous about seeing my papou tonight for my mom's birthday. I know he's going to freak out about my tattoo. Oh well. I'm almost 30 years old & still afraid of my papou! But on the bright side, I got some pension info from work & between my pension & my deferred comp I have close to $20,000 saved up for my retirement! I'm not even thirty yet! That rocks. I keep on raising my deferred comp & it kinda hurts not getting the money when I get paid, but now that I can see a huge wad of it just gaining interest, I feel much better. If I play my cards right, I can retire at 50! I only have to do 25 years with the county before I can get all my pension. I started here at 25. Then I can buy myself a pool boy & sit back & drink martinis by the pool....

I Am The Arm....

There is a temp here that looks like a taller Indian version of Twin Peak's 'The Arm'. His head is the same shape with the high forhead. It freaks me out. I am almost afraid to go into the breakroom because I am sure he is going to be eating creamed corn backwards....

I can see a nipple!

I got my new tattoo on Saturday. She came out really good. I am so happy. She's pretty big & you can see a nipple, but it's pretty tasteful. I am going to build on her so that she is a quarter sleeve. Very colorful. Had a pretty good weekend. Only problem was when my E string on my guitar broke during our first song at practice. Cherry sounds like crap compared to my primary guitar now. I guess it's time to retire her to my wall at home with my punk blue one. But the good thing out of that, we were messing around with me on the keyboard which was fun & came up with a pretty neat sound. Drummer girl is going to see if she can get us a second Saturday gig playing back ground music at a gallery. I think we are going to call ourselves "anonymity" & dress silly with masks n stuff. I don't care as long as we're playing. Looking forward to this week & all the stuff going down. Wednesday is my moms 50th birthday & we are going to drink & eat & be merry. Thursday is tour of the pub for St Pattys day. Going to start around 9 or 10 & drink & walk until I pass out. Friday is our Ring Two dinner & movie slumber party. Really excited about getting out & having some non stop fun this week. Until then I have to work two eleven hour days in a row for some over time, but it will be well worth it to make the days go by quicker....

Queens of the Fucking Stone Age, baby!!!

I've been here at work since before 6am. I've been rocking non-stop to Queens of the Stone Age. Have I mentioned that they fucking rock so hard it brings tears to my eyes? As I check out the National Association of Magicians & find out that #10 on their pledge is "To find & keep the joy of Magic", I hear round the hanging tree. It's almost too perfect. Yes I did find my magician.... I always do.....

My Gary-amour...

My little boy isn't a kitten anymore :( He actually slept with me last night & I had to kick him out at 4am. Usually he isn't allowed in the bedroom because he wants to play his kitten games when Mommy is asleep. Last night he cuddled & nursed on me & went right to sleep. Well he doesn't nurse like he did when I first got him, now he makes kitty muffins & slobbers on me, usually my armpit for some reason. He's even too big for his punk-rock pirate collar. My little man-kitten.... Sniff sniff.. It seems like Billie buttons has always been a bitchy lady cat. Oh well.
Speaking of animals, I saw little Nards (my mouse) the other night & man is that little guy fat & oh my gawd, his balls are huge!!! My little Nardsly.. I think I have an animal problem.

Well you look like Bob Villa, Bitch!

The first thing I hear this morning as I approach my building is my co-worker yell out "You look like a fucking hippie"! So I retorted with the above header. Then we giggled like little girls... Of course I look like a hippie today. The Captain is in town & boy oh boy is he not happy. So I am dressed pretty comfortably. Even though I am in sever pain & forgot my Vicodin, I am glad that I finally understand why I've been so fucking sappy this past week, especially yesterday. It feels like there is a brawl going on in my uterus right now. I've taken Motrin IB & advil. I need some wine....

Stars In My Belly

Ugh. I really miss PBD today. I miss his furry butt & sleeping in his arms. How he would cling to me at night. God this sucks. I know I shouldn't be missing him, but it is spring & the birds are singing & I've busted out my happy, sunny CDs & they remind me of him. He left lots of stars in my belly. Some are still floating around. I hope they don't all leave, I just wish they felt good again & not so painful when I feel them bouncing around in there.

I want a Scottish Accent

Does anyone else ever want a Scottish accent sometimes? Sorry, just listening to Franz Ferdinand. Okay, here I go on a rant.... We got our stickers in yesterday & as Paris would say, "they're hot". It would be nice to get a gig, though. You'd swear this was SF not Sacramento. Seriously people, Sacramento has had Tesla, Cake & the Def Tones. Really that is all for the past, oh I don't know, 20 years? Playing at an old bar shouldn't take our first born to even get on the bill, should it? It's not CBGB's, right? I don't want to go out & get a hair cut that takes me 2 hours to get it perfectly messy like most the men in the music scene here. Why does wanting to rock in this town take more than a yearning to perform & a band? Why is it who you know? I know that is just the way the world is, but really, I don't want to have to suck Jerry Perry's manstick in order to get a gig.

Does anyone remember Goucho Pants?!?!

Why are they trying to bring back Bermuda shorts? I saw an Old Navy ad this weekend. These don't look good on anyone. I think I had some in Jr High. If we hold out, we can win. They tried & tried to bring back Goucho Pants these past few years, but we all know that they are soooo tarded looking. I don't care that Sarah Jessica Parkers wears them or not. I will not ever wear Goucho pants or Bermuda shorts again....

Now that I got that off my chest, I can now move onto a bit of meow meow whining on my part.... For some reason, I am cursed. All this fucked up shit keeps on happening to me week after week. I won't go into details because some of it is gross, but take my word for it, I am cursed right now. I don't even have time anymore between messed up shit that happens to recuperate from the last one. My mom called last night & told me what I needed to do to protect myself from the "stomatia" (sp?). That is the Greek word for curse. So I am sporting my blessed cross & I gotta go out & get myself an evil eye to protect myself. It has seriously got to the point now that I might have to sacrifice a chicken or something to get this eyeore cloud from over my head to go away. I locked myself in my apartment yesterday & hid from the world. I ate a whole pint of Ben & Jerrys (boy am I paying for that today. I am lactose intolerant). If anyone has any ideas how to get this curse off of me, please I am desperate for some relief.

No matter how bad it gets, at least I never had to kill my true love with a shotgun because he had rabies... Did anyone else watch "their eyes were watching god" last night? It was pretty good, but when she had to take out her boyfriend with a shotgun because he had rabies, I lost it. Really, I laughed until snot blew out of my nose. I know it was supposed to be sad and all, but I found it hilarious...

Bitterness can be Liberating...

I often wondering if boys listen to a song & in a drunken stupor start dancing alone to it? There is this one song that just gets me every time right now. I don't even need to be tipsy to dance to it. I feel like Rocky when I hear it. I feel like I can kick some serious butt if the right person came in at the same time the song gets to the point where I start to dance. Oh to be a girl. I love it!!! I can even put on a mini skirt, my pleather lace up boots, a hot bra & get all made up with makeup & hair done just to dance to this song. Am I alone in this?

The Amazing Vomita

Do you ever wish you had a superpower? What would you wish you could do? I either want to slap people over the phone or be able to projectile vomit at any time. Just think, some one is making you angry & you can say "You're making me angry.... You don't want me to get angry", & if they proceed to piss you off, you can projectile vomit in their face. That would be awesome.
In my line of work, I am on the phone with many angry people all day long. I would love to be able to slap someone over the phone. That would rock. "Meow Meow, I don't wanna pay.... I can't afford to pay my boat bill... You're taking food from my children's mouth... Meow Meow" I may be heartless, but usually the boats are over $50,000 & if you can't feed your kids, maybe sell the damn thing if you can't afford it. It's a luxury tax, duh... SLAP!!!! Oh yeah, that would rock so hard.....

All I had was cereal, I swear...

This is my first Blog.... I am soo excited. The rest of the Gyna girls have one & we can keep tabs on each other daily with this nifty invention.. I guess I should start with my dream last night. I have a feeling most of these will consist of dreams.

The dream starts at my old High School, but it is my college in my dream. I remember that the campus had a new deli & I thought, "lucky bastards. We had to bring our own gourmet sandwiches back in my day"; so any ways I try to find my locker because I have a huge bags of books presumably for my classes which I can't remember where they are. I also find out that I can't remember where my locker is. So I go to the first class which I do remember is "Statistics in American Culture". Not really sure if that exists in the real world, but I am there. The teacher is a real asshole. He comes up to me & throws a paper I wrote on the desk with a big fat "F" on it & says "you should just give up & drop this class". I've never gotten a "F" in my life, but I am freaking out non the less. I stand up & tell him that he is only lecturing & not teaching & that he sucks & instead of being mean, he should try helping me & then I walk out of the classroom, but about 20 other students follow me because they hate him too.
From there I bump into a girl I used to be best friends with in high school until she found Jesus & asked her where I could find my other classes because I forgot where they were. She said she didn't know, but she introduces me to some guy she is walking with & we meet & I can totally tell he's wayyy into me. Then I decide to go home. I walk out to the parking lot which is like 10x bigger than the parking lot at my old high school & I can't find my car. It's not even the car I have now, it's my old Disco Blue 82 Honda Accord Hatchback I had in highschool. While I am looking, these 2 guys jump me & are trying to rape me. I get away from them some how & run to MMs moms house which is a big 4 story brownstone in my dream & hang out with her daughter in her room playing with toys. Then the same guy I met before comes in & some how he lives there too & we start talking. I can tell he really likes me. He asks me if I want to go on a trip to Aruba in May. I tell that is very nice, but I am going on a trip to New York then. He gets sad, so I tell him we should go out sometime. He seems like a nice enough guy. Some how the dream fast forwards & we are now dating. His mother hates me. She keeps calling me "the new one" & calling his ex-girlfriend his "fiance". In my dream, his last girlfriend was a real bitch who just used him for his money. Oh, he is also in the Army which I at first was weary of because of Pretty but Dumb (who will now be referred to as "PBD") was in the Army. So I tell off his mother. Then I pass out end up in the hospital & all I am concerned about is if he has my purse or not. Then I realize that I am not as into him as he is into me & decide to break it off. Then I wake up.